Better THAN Lipo?

I have an unusually blessed life. I really need to remind myself of this more often. Counting blessings and reminding ourselves of the good we have in our lives is far more rewarding than the time we spend complaining about what we don't have or all that is wrong.

How often have you talked yourself out of a relationship that was actually really good but you found yourself focusing on the one or two things they did that annoyed you (typically something benign like gum popping or snoring) and rarely verbalized or celebrated all of the wonderful things they were doing for you (like doing the dishes, always offering to drive, made coffee every morning, listened, supported, loved you unconditionally)?

I made a very conscious choice that when I started BTL, that I was going to take the week off and be gentle with myself. I didn't know what to expect. Would I be crabby? Would my head throb? Would I feel run down and nauseous? Would everyone look like food to me and I'd have urges to bite their heads off literally and figuratively?

I didn't know and no one could know, because only I have my body. I treated the week as I would any sick time I took from the office: void of obligation or commitment. If I wanted to spend the day in bed watching TV, then that is what I was prepared to do and I would do it without guilt.

I have been abusing my body for years with bad food and over consumption. This is my time to heal and take care of myself and that is exactly what I have done this week. And the result? I dodged all of those bullets. I actually found myself more productive in my calm. More kind and unusually satisfied.

Then tonight, I did the unthinkable. I brought my own food to an event with me and I did it without guilt, shame or embarrassment.

Remember that blessed life I was telling you about? Well, it's extreme. If you are reading this, you should just know it now. I was personally invited by Big Kenny (of "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy", Big & Rich fame) to his show in Agoura Hills. If any of you have ever had the fortune of going backstage to a show, you know that they roll out the carpet for the talent and their guests. At every turn there are tables of food, bins of ice with any drinks you could possibly want and if there is something you'd rather have that doesn't seem visible, don't fret. Every so often, someone comes by to make sure you are taken care of and will get you whatever you need. In the past, there is only one way I would have been able to describe how I would've treated this event: "grazing into drunkenness".

I'd have grazed all afternoon and well into the evening, sipping cocktails all along the way. Grazing is almost worse than if I were to sit down and enjoy a fat juicy hamburger (why did I just do that to myself? Just typing those words make me drool. Focus. I digress.), because at least I fill up in one sitting. Grazing... I could have a handful of M&Ms and then chips and salsa 20 minutes later. Is that a tray of fruit? I'd better have some of this watermelon to tide me over since I understand there are french fries on the way. Is that a cupcake? I think you get my point.

But tonight, I came prepared with a zip lock bag I had prepared full of my night's chicken and steamed asparagus. Forgetting I was going to be in public, I probably could've refrained from as much garlic, but what are you going to do? As everyone sat down for some dinner, it was such a non-issue when I simply asked a waitress for a plate. I can't imagine ever having done this before. Instead, I would have taken the easy way out and thought, "this is a rare event. A "special occasion". It's okay to go off program for tonight."

But if you recall, I mentioned this blessed life of mine is a little extreme and these "special occasions" happen all of the time. Like I said, I need to be more conscious of them and be thankful and appreciative of all of the special moments I get to have. But tonight, I turned a corner and proved to myself that I can still enjoy the moment and stay focused on my priority: designing a healthier me. To do this has required me to finally learn, "staying on program" does not mean sacrificing a fortunate experience.